the 10.1 holiday is over, all get back to work,and I will start a new work and a new style of working.
there comes a new face in the company,a girl oh,no, a woman, with a little fat body.
she has lots to say, i feel a little boring, but luckly, the aim of her coming here is to recive the job what i am doing,i will get rid of TCL, i hate it!

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曾经想多点时间来写日志，可是最近不佳的心情和无言的危机感始终充斥着我的头脑，或许这还要持续一段时间，但是唯一不变的是，如果我再不用心的话，饭都没的吃了！

有朋友调侃我，说我总是把一些问题看的太严重，比如说大家都在说的吃饭问题等等，可是我却知道这其中的难处，具体甚么就不说了，重要的是我经历了，也懂得其中的道理。

 

阴霾的深圳，让人透不过气，虽然这几天凉了很多，我依旧睡着凉席，盖着床单，开着凉飕飕的风扇。我喜欢凉风并不是因为我想感冒，而是我想让自己混沌的头脑清醒一点。至于我睡凉席的原因却是很简单，那是因为我并没有找到可以垫的薄被！

 

转过头来，突然发现生活中已经没有什么娱乐了，每天的上班下班，上网，随便的吃饭，胡乱的睡觉，一切都有点牢笼的感觉。我渐渐发现我已经脱离这个所谓的社会，神游天下了。

 

明天醒来，这里写得都是白痴，还好，英文是白日写的，中文是刚才写的，白痴也是晚上的白痴，我要睡觉了，祝爱我的人和我爱的人晚安。

THE vacation of October 1, the golden week, as busy as at TCL. god bless me... 

In China, a man should not cry, if does, he will be laughed at by other people. if wants, he must find a place where there is no people first.and women have the special authority to cry in public places. in most people's mind ,women should be protected by men, they are effeminate and weak.
But are these who are called "men" really powerful and can't be defeated? i think many people especially men say "no"! It is a say in China:A MAN CAN'T CRY EASILY, UNLESS HE IS TOO SORROWED.

 A man is also a human, he also has many problems to solve,and will  meet many difficulties in the life, he may be helpless and doesn't know how to deal with. he will be weak ,ill and wants to cry like a child. Most men don't cry because they know there are many responsibilities on their shoulders.
I am a man, so i can't cry easily,I have many things to do, I have the responsibilities to earn enough money, to please my girl, to take care of my family,to help others and so on.
Many times when I was trapped by many problems,I told myself: be hard! I am the best one! When passed them, I found it was easy for me if I had enough courage.

 

A man also has the time when he feels weak,he also wants a shoulder to lay, I think a woman will be the best choice for him then:). The couple composed with a man and a woman is the all of the world. 

I don't think many Chinese people  can tell the differences between Mcdonald's and KFC, so do I. Last sunday a joke was happened to me,and it made me so shamefaced..

 

Last sunday, i had nothing to do ,finally ,i decided to go to North of HUAQIANG to look for some useful. then later in the afternoon , i got hungry, and wanted to got something to eat, fortunately, i found a Mcdonald's ,so i got in and took a seat.

"what can i do for you, sir?" a beautiful waitress asked me with a strange machine in her hands.

"e, i want 3 pairs of 香辣 chiken wings and a cup of cola."i answered.

"sorry, we don't sell 香辣 chiken wings, do you like to have a taste of 麦辣 ones?"with smiles on her face , the waitress told me.

when i heard this ,i got a surprise. then i knew the meaning of what the waitress had said at once. i was embarranssed.

 

I used to eat KFC, and hardly eat Mcdonald's , so i always ask for 香辣 chiken wing, 香辣 hamburge,but THAT DAY , i was in a Mcdonald's,it is so funny to ask KFC foods in a Mcdonald's!!

 

I changed my words immediately,and the waitress also quickly took me what i wanted , then paid for money , i escaped form that Mcdonald's shop.

it is hot these days, and often suddenly comes a storm.i know this is the summer of shenzhen, the city beyond the sea.

 

i woke up from the nightmare at the midnight yesterday.i went after her,but i couldn't catch up with her,the distance between us became longer and longer, i cried out and got up, when I found it was just a dream, there was sweat all over my body.i don't think i fear something, but i fear losting her very much, she is the most important treasure of me.

 

we usually want to do many things, but most do not get enough preparation. for example, we want to work hard to earn more many, but we are short of abilities, we want to study more ,but we have no smooth mood; we want to have a perfect family but we are easy to be angry... so to change the world, we should change ourselves first.

 

have you ever seen sun-rain? i saw it just now, the sun was shinning in the sky, but it rained indeed, a crowd of cloud floated above the buliding where i am working in. it was beautiful when i looked out of the window. with the sunshine, drops of the rain looked like a series of sparkling gold. If fortunately, i should see the rainbow in the sky, but i was in office, couldn't get out to see whether there was, i think i must miss it.

 

I love someone, I love my life.  That's all.

 

in my memory, the subway was started to work in 2005, it has been a long time since it worked, and  i had never taken it once.
in december 2006,I fired myself from TCL,I found a new job that i have done till today,but the office is far from where i lived.I must take the sbuway or bus everyday, from then on, I knew what the subway really looks like.

I like trains,they are modern and full of science and technology,and the most important is they never have a bad traffic and will never be late. 

 

sz's subway is very modern,and bright,and now more and more people take it everyday, to work or to other places.

the subway changes people's life gradually in shenzhen,and now ,we hardly see many people are eager to get on a bus.

it is a beatiful scenery in shenzhen,and it will keep on shine in the future

No matter human or animals, they all have emotion,we smile ,we cry ,wo are happy ,we are sad,what humen can do also can be done by animals.

I like cats,when i was very little, i held 2cats in our houses.There are two houses belonging to my family in the village, one house one cat.
We all know cats can catch mice to protect our rice. It is funny when a cat catches a mouse, the cat will not kill the mouse immediately,she will play the poor mouse for some time until the mouse gives up the ideas of escape.If the mouse always wants to escape, the cat will play it unmercifully until it can't move. then the cat will be tired, she will eat the mouse and take a comfortable rest.
It looks like cats are cruel,play the mouse then tired ,eat it, so bloody!someone maybe think it like this,but it is the cat's life,she likes eating fish ,but cats can't catch fishes in the water because cats fear water.luckly, cats have sharp born claws,that can catch mice easily.mice are pest,should be destroied(eliminated)!

 

OK,what i just said is out of the topic. cats that i raised in my childhood were very closed to me. When seeing me going back home from school,they were very glad and ran around me.i even held them in my arms when sleeping,when one of them died because it was too old,i wept..my childhood is full of happiness all because of these two cats. i like them up till now.

 

Dogs are also liked by many people,for example ,my brother ,but unlucky , my father ddin't allow him to raise a dog,so he could only play with the neighbor's.dogs are very allegiant(忠诚的)，they can go the rounds of the house to protect the fortune of hosts,even protect hosts' lives. so i never eat dogs ,though it is said to be very dilicious.

 

I like someone,someone likes me,this is the emotion, i like it,i feel it,i enjoy it. 

what i want ? i ask myself 

want free ,want money, want a family?

to tell the truth, i also don't know.

 

it is 8.22 today, since i came to this company ,i has been more than 5months,but i am nervous because i feel i have got nothing, maybe someone will tell me:"hi, guy, what do you want indeed? it is fine enough for you".

i have the responsibility that i must afford the cost of the family of mine in the future. i feel the pressure, even at one time ,i was afraid of it .

 

but now, it is clear im my mind, saying too many word is not helpful, what can improve our lives is only to do it accordding to our plans.

 

come on, man, you can do it .

 

--------------------------------

okay , let me talk about other things

 

it has been a bad weather in sz for weeks, today it rains, tomorrow it will be overcast, and it is very fuggy these days , i hate the weahter like this. the clothes can't be dry in the wet air,now i even don't know what can i wear to go to work.

today morning , it was a heavy rain here, though i had a umbrella, my trousers was wet completely,lucky in unlucky, i wear the sandals.

 

do you like instant pasta? i hate it , buy i must eat it ,for i can't cook myself. i often have quick meal off the duty , but i think it is not healthy and maybe do some undiscovered harm to my body, so the only choice left is to eat instant pasta. but i usually cook it with some fresh vegetables and eggs, so sometimes it tastes good,  and i eat it almost 10times a week.

most friends ask me how it is now , i just say everything goes well .

In fact, I also don't know what is the life like now,maybe i am waiting for something and somebody that are far away from me or nearly.

 

I have a dream,like many people's,having a big house ,ahead to the sea,in front of the house there are many flowers,and some big trees behind it,and there are a dog and a cat also.

when tired , I can have a rest in the shandow of the trees, when happy, I can play with dog and cat among the flowers.

this is the dream when i was a little boy,and now also the dream of  my life.

 

everyone says no money no good life,it is especially right,in shenzhen ,we can't be alive without money,but earning money becomes more and more difficult. cost of living is rising day after day ,but the salary is never improved---this is just a joke----and it is well-known that the income always depends on the ability of ourself.

 

the day before yesterday is the Chinese Valentine's day,wish all the people in love have a good endding as their will.

人得觉悟有多高？

或许有人说因人而异，

而我说不

现实中，总有很多觉悟的人，只是觉悟了，就够了吗？

 

日子过得简单的不能再简单，每天的上班下班，吃饭睡觉，程序一样的机器。

我隐隐约约知道有些过得不是很对劲，

而我自己却一直没有发觉为什么，

 

前些天   跟我说，

去考报关员吧，也许以后用得上，

于是我就去报名，毕竟是个证书，努力拿到也是有益的

只是这似乎并没有冲淡我这种奇怪的感觉

 

这些天都在思索...

 

昨天深夜2点56分，天又开始下雨，伴随着低沉的雷声，

我知道，那是远远的云层经受不住压力的呻吟，

对于雨出奇的敏感，我竟然醒来了，

趴在浴室的小窗户上呆呆的看着雨幕，

间歇凉爽的夹杂着雨味的微风扑在面上，

心情从未有如此的平静。

 

雨夜的宁静或许给了我从未有的灵感，

霎那，我明白了我的困惑

我，是在害怕！！！

害怕所有的一切会渐渐的失去

害怕所有未知的一切都会遥遥无期

无奈和无知的链锁紧紧的绞在内心深处，

 

赫然发现，原来酬躇满志的我，已经随着这几年的漂泊，

把信心和毅力摧残的残破不堪了

我想，即使是在工地干体力活的杂工也比此时的我更有信心和愿望吧

 

深圳的夏天很热，真的很热

我住的地方没有空调，风扇也是热烘烘的风

而此刻面对着“心静自然凉”的blog标题

我浑身发冷，

流下了许久不曾出现的LEI水

 

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或许你当我是觉悟了吧，

或许我从来就没有糊涂过，

深圳茫茫的城市，我只不过是一只不知所谓的蚂蚁，

我在忙碌，我在追求，

只求每一天能看到关心的人开心的笑脸，

 

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时光一轮一轮的辗过了我，

无知又无畏的我在生活中渐渐的消散了，

清楚了什么叫责任

也清楚了什么叫承受

你，

没有退路，

只能一如既往的勇往直前！

 

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后记：昨晚的雨给了自己太多的触动，其实本不想写这篇东西的，只是今天在和一个朋友聊天时，他问我，你能想象到5年之后的你是怎样的么？我愕然，毫无职业规划的我，终于感觉到危机来临了...

爱我的人和我爱的人都为我加油吧！

 

后记2：原来一个人的心也可以劈作两半的，一半为这个，一半为那个...

 

 

是自己的就一定要争取

 

不是自己的，自己又想得到的，就更要争取

 

这些天一直都很心烦，情绪很难稳定，最近两天尤盛

 

上周六晚上一夜无眠，睁大着眼睛到天亮

 

我不想找个人说，也不知道说什么

 

生活中很多的精彩，都让我经历了

 

剩下来的，我要去填补和消化，丰富我的人生。

 

自言自语，不知道说些什么....

 

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Never Had a Dream Come True 
 歌手：S Club 7     专辑：Seven 

Oooh-oooh
Everybody's got something
They had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday
That just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
(Or wondering)
How it could be now or might have been
(Or might have been)
All this I know but still I can't find ways
To let you go

I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you, yeah

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time (ah-ha, ha-ha)
And tommorow can never be
'Cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
(Wondering)
How it should be now or might have been
(Or might have been)
All this I know but still I can't find ways
To let you go

I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will
You know you will, oh baby
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
It's no use looking back or wondering
(Or wondering)
Because love is a strange and funny thing
(And funny thing)
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye, no, no, no, no

I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words
(Never found the words to say) to say
You're the one I think about each day (each day)
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you, ooh

 

偶尔在小妹的博客里听到，再次勾起了我对这首歌的回忆，之前听过好久，很容易让人想起或者身同感受些什么东西，最近心情破碎，此歌聊以安慰....

不知道今天是怎么了，精神恍恍惚惚，自己感觉有点落魄

上班路上竟然撞到路边的标识牌，看着嗡嗡作响的它，摸摸剧烈疼痛的额头，瞅瞅一旁目瞪口呆的卖早餐的阿姨，我裂开了嘴，笑了一下，快步逃离现场。

没完，再次在众多人面前出丑，上电梯竟然直接撞到电梯门，砰一生，让所有人都震惊，我郁闷，再次捂着额头傻笑。。

 

主啊，我知道我今天心情不好，也不要这么惩罚我啊

 

 

周六，又是从竹子林出发，顺着红荔路和深南大道，我花了3个小时徒步了一个来回，负重10公斤。

这次很幸运，没有迷路，水也准备的很充足，顺便也带上了MP3，一路上走的很快，来回直线距离大约30余公里，我的速度还不错。

只是终究是高速的运转，当回到起点时，小腿已经完全酸痛了，脚也开始发麻，人也累得不行，冲凉过后，竟然就在床上睡着了，直到1个多小时后，才醒。

 

自己的徒步，也没有什么太多的原因，强身健体是一个，排解无聊的时间，又是一个。没了，谁叫我在深圳现在是孤家寡人一个呢？或者说是自虐，有人这么说我。

 

刚才突然想起来有个任务还没有完成，不过资料在公司，明天了，也只有明天完成了。天主保佑，A门啊！

经过了这么久，关于很多愿望的东西已经不在常说，也不去想了。

小时候，总是有很多很多的期望，希望以后长大能做什么，能得到什么，那时的愿望很大很大。

随着年龄的一点点增长，愿望却越变越小，越来越实际。

随着人的长大，我们知道了，什么东西可以得到什么东西永远也得不到，愿望的祈求越来越成为短期的努力目标或者争取对象。

人容易陷入安逸的陷阱，也容易调入愿望的圈套。

有几个人真正想过这些日思梦想的愿望对自己真的有什么益处么？

是的，做到崇高的位置受人景仰，赚到了足够的钱让人羡慕，完成了不可完成的任务自我满足。或许很多人的追求也就在此。

 

或许我不该说自己没有太多的奢望，只是我逐渐的发现，远大的目标让人迷茫，而我这种典型的小富即安的心态难免被人骂作是鼠目寸光。是的，我是没有别人的抱负，也没有别人的野心，或许这样旧叫做没有出息，不像男人。

只是我的思想让我一直以来都是在享受生活，无论这生活是否幸福抑或苦楚。无论是在哪里，生活对我来说都是一个重要的东西。所以我的愿望很简单：有一个面朝大海背靠山的房子，有水有树，这就够了。也许这也是我一生为之奋斗的目标，也是我最大的愿望了吧。

 

生活中难免被这样那样的事情牵绊，心情不好，工作不顺，满腔怒火，无奈，苦笑，通通是人生快乐的杀手，何不和我一样，痛快的享受生活呢？用另一种心态去看待工作中，生活中的问题，或许很多不好的事情也能变得好一点吧。

小小的愿望，更容易实现，不是么？每天跟自己说，今天我想做什么，做好了，给自己一个奖励！

 

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以上部分是胡思乱想的发泄，看不懂的不理解的不要提问....

人生就是这样，幼稚也好，无奈也好，只要是自己的路，就要笑着向前走。如果幸运的话，有人陪伴，这路将走得更加轻快！

最近的生活一直很不稳定

说不上坏，但绝对和好没有任何关系

恶梦连连，常常暗自惊醒，醒来之后自然不愿意再次入睡，这世界上没有男人不怕这一说法

连带着天气也一天天的变坏

前几天阴沉不定，续而昨天狂雨瓢泼，续而今天阴雨连绵，愁眉不展的老天还夹杂着降温的脾气，这又让我想起了去年的“冬天”。不知道明天是否依旧。

估计今天要感冒了，浑身不舒服。

 

下班回来，继续我的食谱，然后，上网睡觉。

徒步，从宝安北路到竹子林，其中在皇岗迷路1个多小时，多走了10公里。全程估计40公里，将近4个小时完成。

庆幸，脚底板没有起泡，只是小趾头“上面”起一血泡，摸上去特疼。

今天是深圳100公里的日子，我算是给他们加油助威吧。

祈求明天还能起的来床，阿门！

 

另：如果张姐能看到的话：张姐，不知道你现在生活怎么样，不过应该很忙，您的空间已经好久没有日志更新了...

深圳的冬季好像只有那么几天，凉下来就过去了。

虽然去年是全球的暖冬，虽然老家也不再有下雪的迹象，不过回到了深圳后，我还是惊诧：满园的春色已经探出了墙头。路旁的不知名的树都开着斑斓的花，注意了一下，竟然是紫色和红色的居多，这种大富大贵的颜色的确扎眼，看得人头疼。

其实自己更觉得，在深圳这样一个年轻的城市，一些明亮的橙色或者绿色倒是更能显示出活力。

 

据说春节的时候深圳的花展很不错，可惜没缘去看，不过深圳在春节的那几天差不多都有30度的高温，顶着如此的毒日头，这花不看也罢。倒是过几天老家的油菜花要开了，万分的怀念。

 

过了一个年，很多人都过的郁闷，大放厥词的有，唉声叹气的有，好像现在年，过得是奢侈，过得是无聊。有时候自己都在想，这来来回回的跑，到底是为了什么，不过如果有心，当你看到家里父母妻儿企盼的双眼，你就会明白为什么中国人叫这个为“年”了。

 

春天又来了，人也开始发困，偶尔还伴随着失眠，这日子就要这么过下去了。

 

PS：昨晚坐公交车，车门口一女孩，手机被抢。原因有三：1、歹徒太嚣张，关内直接趁公交车停车开门间隙，强抢财物。2、女孩不小心，站在下客口依旧手机玩个没完。3、深圳关内治安越来越差了？

1、若干天前，早晨，坐车，半路上来一对老年夫妇，每人手持一证件，然后售票员MM就没有过问。这对夫妇年龄很大了，发须全白，估计也有个70多岁吧，不过手脚都很利索，下车的动作比一般人还快。这本来没有什么，不过晚上当我再次坐上同一辆巴士的时候，意外的发现半路那对夫妇又上车了，依旧是人手一证，一就是动作敏捷，这倒让我想起了《我的野蛮女友》里的那对活宝，拿着身份证禁酒吧的影像。自己偷偷的笑。

 

2、前两天，依旧是公交车上，发现售票员系一mm,而且的确很漂亮，坐身边一男同胞说道：“这么漂亮还来卖票，卖什么也比卖票好！”结果让mm听到，一顿臭骂！原来此mm系一大学生，寒假体验生活来了...彻底对那一兄弟抱以同情....

 

3、最近发现自己好像有点发福了，于是天天晚上开始增加运动量，没想才短短几年，身体竟然开始变形，真悲哀。俯卧撑做30个就起不来了，仰卧起作做40个也起不来了，要知道当年这两项数据都是50＋啊！无语，生活让人腐败.....

 

4、深圳这两天燥热异常，总感觉要变天，不过迟迟未变，难道我意料错误了？！

 

5、已经过去14个多月了，我还要继续坚持！